:: My Reality ::

"80% Alternate Universe, 20% Barely Hanging On!"
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:: Sunday, April 02, 2006 ::

Last night's local news here in Columbia led off with three of the most bazarr stories I have ever seen announced on TV. The first one told the general public to watch out for a sword wielding 21 yr. old woman who was wanted for cutting off her rivals hand at the wrist." ( The victim) didn't even know it was gone," said one witness. Another onlooker was quick enouth to put the offending hand in ice where it was later re attached at Duke University Hospital. "She'll probably get mobility back," said her surgeon.

The second story had to do with the arrest of a surburban soccor mom who had been caught setting fires to houses in her very well-to-do neighbor hood for several weeks. She looked demure but somehow mournful in her prison garb as the judge read her charges of multiple counts of 2nd degree arson. Neighbors were mystified by her actions but feared the worst as the judge had set bail at $100,000 which she quickly posted and returned home to her husband and two teenage boys.

The final lead off story was the strangest of the three, having to do with the arrest (of course) of three men charged with performing castration on a number of willing participants. They were charged with performing operations without a medical license. A picture of a log cabin in the woods and mugshots of two white males and one hispanic male completed the picture. The anchorman mentioned that there were DVD's of the dirty deeds. Film at eleven.

So there you have it, the news from my corner of the world. Goodnight and Goodluck!

:: Tom 1:00 PM [+] ::
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